The Pre-teen and self-absorption years have arrived in hurricane strength at the Harjo household. We’ve got attitude, eye rolls and the gee your stupid mom look. It has become quite evident to me when you’re a teen it is all about the seen! At least for now. This became very evident over the past couple of weeks as Darya has asked me to help her “fix” her hair. Welcome to Mom’s Beauty Salon! Where we do hair and beyond!
The first hair appointment I attempted to fix her hair as requested and she whipped around with a “humpf” and marched out because I wasn’t fixing it right. Let me just say there should be Hair Commandments starting with, “Thou shall communicate with and appreciate your hair stylist” and second “Thou shall not attempt any self-trims”. Which she did around Christmas time fully mutilating her bangs.
The second hair appointment was scheduled despite my inept styling abilities. This appointment wasn’t much better as oil slick hair is hard to curl. If you’ve ever curled hair you know once you curl your hair one direction and then try to curl it the other direction you are just asking for a really bad hair day. Well the “customer” wanted me to do that, so I did because I am all about customer service! Guess what? Yup a really bad hair day, but to my surprise the customer squealed, “Perfect!” and tramped off to school.
A third hair appointment was requested. Gee maybe I should enroll in cosmetology school I might be a natural. Insert my eye roll and I wonder where she gets it? The requested style is big long spiral curls curling in towards the face. I did two big curls on each side of her head and she looked in the mirror and said, “Yes! Thank you!” I thought wait only half of your hair is done so I asked , “Don’t you want me to fix the back?” She answered negatively. Intrigued by that answer I followed up with a clarification, “So you only want part of your hair fixed? The part that you can see?” a quick yes as she bounced off to school in style…at least part way.
This made me think how often, do we do something similar, only caring about part of our appearance? When our focus should be on our inner beauty, but we often become consumed with our outer appearances that others see. Why? Because we live in the land where beauty is queen with “beauty” being defined by the house we live in, the cars we drive, the school our children attend, the clothes we wear, the hand bags we carry and the shoes on our feet. Even though we know we’re all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) and beautiful in God’s eyes we still compare ourselves to other women, we still “try to keep with The Joneses”, whoever they are. We can argue that it shouldn’t be that way with Christians, but reality is it is all the same.
I’m no different, but I so desire to be different. This past Saturday night, I tried on about seven different “what not to wear” outfits before finally settling on what to wear to church. Something I would feel comfortable in, I know that charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but if I can’t find something I feel comfortable in, I will feel awkward, fat, ugly and insecure the entire day. What an uncomfortable way to live! I don’t want to fall victim to this Babylonian mentality. Even though we live in a self-absorbed, materialistic world that screams at us “you are not loved…worthy…beautiful…unless you have….look.…drive.…live.….fill in the blanks” we can be assured of His promise and be comforted by His unfailing love (Psalm 119:76).
One of my new favorite songs is “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North . The lyrics start out talking about a girl in a corner with tear stained eyes afraid that she has fallen too far to love then it reminds us that we are more. We are more than the choices we’ve made. We are more than the sum of our past mistakes. We are more than the problems we create. Why? Because we’ve been remade. It goes on to address the self-battling we do with ourselves that our redemption is not true, but it is not about we’ve done but what He has done. It helps direct my focus from me to Him. It reminds me that I am a new creature in Christ and the old has passed away (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I want Him to be a part of my whole life, not just the seen part, but every deep fiber of my soul. The good news is He wants to! Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, freely offered Himself on the cross – with no regrets – to die in my place – returned to life on the third day and is alive today to be a part of my life, and yours. Not just part of our life, but all of our life.
Now as I am typing this she wants me to help her fix it a different way. “Kind of straight, but not all the way.” Is anybody reading this rambling? That’s my life in a nutshell, ordinary pre-teen conversations about hair that take me down a long windy road in my brain to the good news of Christ, but in all things give thanks.
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