Whatever Wednesday Writings - I Love My Loser

This is an UPDATE from last week's post.

Time Magazine was laying out at our office and it caught my eye…the top 100 most influential people…singers, entrepreneurs, engineers, professional athletes, fashion designers....who design jeans that people will pay $2,000 for? Seriously? Okay, I am finished looking at the list. Obviously, the things that land you on that list and what God sees as influential are not the same thing. News flash, I know.

It is true God’s ways are not our ways and when we begin to truly follow His word it will always make people take note. They will either call you foolish or they will praise God to see Christlikeness exhibited.

God’s word says to gain your life, you must first lose it. To be great, you must first be a servant. To live, you must die. When we lose, it is actually a gain and that is what happened.

This past Wednesday, Mike and Darryl spend the day with their baseball team playing in the Class 5A Regionals, they got smashed both games, thus ending their 2013-14 season. After the first game was over the announcer came up to Mike and Darryl and said he has been announcing these regional games for fifteen years and had never witnessed what he witnessed that day.

Which was a team that played with all their heart despite the beat down they were taking.

They lost 15 to 0. 

The announcer, which is also the golf pro at Heritage Hills Golf Course, asked the fans to give the coaches and team “a round of applause because of the hustle, the never give up, and the class, which they showed in defeat.” Next, he came over to them and asked if he could purchase the entire team’s lunch for the day!

If you know anything about inner city schools, they don’t get a large budget, actually they don’t get a budget, so that was a huge blessing to Mike, Darryl and the boys…this was nothing but God’s favor on them! The neat thing was when the concession stand heard what was going on they did not allow the announcer to pay for their meals because they wanted to be a part of the blessing to our guys.

God’s favor did not stop there though; next, a lady came up and put 200 dollars in their hands so they all could eat on the way home that night.

Then one of the boys on the other team said the name of Jesus Christ in a non-glorifying way, he said it as a curse word. After the game Mike addressed the young man about it and explained why it was offensive to Mike because of what that name meant to him. Then later in the week Mike received an email from this boy’s dad who wanted to know if he could donate money to help the team out! Crazy. I know. That is just the God we serve, showing His faithfulness to His sons.

Finally, all these people sent emails to the Capitol Hill High School principal and the email from the local golf pro/announcer said that Mike and “his assistant” :) left a positive reflection on Claremore and the fans at the game. He went on to say in the email, “Mike Hinckley has become my favorite of all time. He gives love, praise, and himself to kids who are having fun, doing their best, making some good plays, cheerleading, but most importantly, teaching young men to respect themselves and the game that he must truly love.”

TV News 9 did a story on them last year and this year The Daily Oklahoman did a story.

I can tell you that it isn’t the game that Mike and Darryl truly love, but it is the Lord Jesus Christ who they truly love…and because of that love they can love on those boys and teach them character even through losing.

Their 1st season (2012-2013)

The cross is for losers. It’s true. Christ did not come to save the righteous but sinners. We are all losers, rather we recognize it or not, Jesus came to destroy self-righteousness. Nevertheless, because of the cross we are truly winners, because it is not our righteous, goodness, talents or abilities but Jesus Christ IN US that is the hope of glory.

"Thus says the Lord:

“Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
Nor let the rich man glory in his riches;
But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.
For in these I delight,” says the Lord."

Jeremiah 9:23-24

 "In God we boast all day long, and Praise Your Name forever." Psalm 44:8

Whatever Wednesday Writings...at Your Word I will!

“But Simon answered and said to Him, ‘Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your Word I will let down the net.’” Luke 5:5

It’s that time again in Oklahoma, and I am not talking fishing. “That time” being severe weather and Moore, Oklahoma where I live is known as “Tornado Alley”. Born and raised an Okie I have been through many severe storms, the baseball size hail, winds that carry trampolines and small puppies away, flooding that makes you want to invest in a kayak, but F5 – mile wide – long tracking tornadoes…uhm…no thanks. I have seen one too many of these monsters.

The last tornado that hit us on May 20, 2013, shattered our community.

Period.

It was a devastating time watching parents bury their small children.

It was a frustrating time watching friends not receiving any assistance from the “so-called” disaster relief organizations.

It was an exhausting time as we worked to salvage personal belongings...BUT it was also a time the Lord taught me about His sovereignty and my need to trust Him in EVERY aspect of my life. 

These environmental storms make it hard to understand and grasp how His goodness could be displayed through such destruction and despair; but I HAVE to trust that He is still faithful, that His love never ends and with each sunrise we have new mercies. I HAVE to remember these truths, His Word, especially when tragedy happens and I don’t understand. I HAVE to remember that we live in a sin-cursed world and until Jesus returns and the new heaven and earth come, heart-wrenching tragedy will exist. I don’t like that.

My family loves a good thunderstorm. My family loves the adrenaline of watching a tornado (as long as it isn’t taking life and property). The incredible display of power is amazing, but this past week with all the predictions of the worst tornado outbreak in our area since 2011 had me more on edge than I ever would have expected. I don’t know if it was because we were so close to it last year with my husband and daughter bunkering down in a school that was only partially hit, or if it was seeing all the destruction day in and day out for months, or if it was watching friends rebuild their lives, or if it was just old age and wisdom knowing and understanding the magnitude and cost of the aftermath. 

Whatever it was I HAD to take those concerns to God and lay them at His feet. Remembering He is good all the time and that my family and my life are His. Remembering that He has ALL authority in heaven and on earth and that our steps are preordained by Him. I HAD to remember that He did not give me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a SOUND MIND. I HAD to remember that perfect love casts out all fear and I HAD to rejoice knowing that I am perfectly loved.

I don’t understand why bad things happen to good people, I am not God, but I know we live in a sin-cursed world. I do know that God is in control and I will trust Him. I must remember to see the universe through the lens of His Lordship and know when tragedy strikes He is still there, He still loves, gives strength and comfort, laughter, peace and joy…and I love and trust Him, even in and through the storms of this life. Just as Job lost everything and suffered much, he states, “the Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21b) Job goes on to ask “shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10b)

So this week as I read in Luke 5, I learned a simple lesson. Just as Jesus’ future disciples had toiled all night to catch fish for their livelihood and finished with an empty net. All of my toiling and sweating over if the predictions would come to pass left me with an empty net of worry. I know, worrying does me NO good, Matthew 6:27, asks, “And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?" Not me. That is why I have this ring to remind me God values me and I am being taken care of by a King. I can't tell you how many times since I put this ring on that I have gazed down and reminded myself, "Am I not more value than the birds?" (Matt 6:26)

Back to Luke 5! At Jesus’ command, Peter responded in faith and was rewarded with a catch so big that the nets tore and the boat almost sank! While this scripture is used to illustrate the evangelistic impact the disciples would have, His Word which is alive can speak differently to us in our own life situations. That word for me - is being a doer and don’t just speak it, but believe it – live it. Luke 5 alludes that Peter doubted because he said, (my paraphrase) “Lord, we have been trying all night to catch fish , we are tired and they just ain’t bitten, in fact I think they are all gone! BUT “at Your Word I will”.

Lord, help me to take you AT YOUR WORD and to do as You say. Help me to remember You are trustworthy, You are sovereign and You love me more than the sparrows and yet you take care of them. Lord help me to keep my mind steadfast on you and as I do You will give me perfect peace through all the storms (environmental or otherwise)...  at Your Word I will, let it be!

“The Lord sat enthroned at the Flood, and the Lord sits as King forever.

The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace. “

Psalm 29:10-11

All those predictions for this last storm system may have missed our area, but there are others in Oklahoma, Kansas, Mississippi and Alabama who were in the direct path. I am confident they would covet our prayers as their long road of healing and rebuilding begins.

One. Week One. Effective Immediately.

One

1.

Week One…Starting Over. One week ago today I was told I was being reappointed to a new position after 18 years, 3 months of working with very humble, caring and giving group of people who are known by many as servants. Saying good-bye to a program and people that I have grown to love and which I have invested so much in is difficult, especially since it was not by my choice. The news came unexpectedly and of all ways through an email from someone who sat only a few steps down the hall. Reassigned. New Supervisor. New work. Effective Immediately.

I am thankful.

I am, really. I may not agree with the reassignment. I may not agree with how I was informed, but…

I am ready.

At least I think I am ready. If I have learned one thing over the past two years it is God does not want me in places of comfort. When I am comfortable, I tend to forget the God of Comfort. When I am comfortable, I tend to get lazy. When I am comfortable, I get bored and I am boring!

The Lord has been preparing for me for such as times as these and I choose to trust Him. I will not live in the land of uncertainty and what ifs, because my God is a Solid Rock. He does not shift and waver like the ocean, He is faithful and does not change. His covenant is of life and peace. His thoughts toward me are thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give me a future and a hope. I choose to trust Him.

This first week was not even a full week since I was home sick the first three days with the stomach flu. Ugh, very flattering, I know! I really thought I was going to go meet my Jesus! My blood pressure dropped so low the first “hospital” didn’t want me, then my blood sugar spiked up, they could not find my pulse. I am so glad they did not start pounding on my chest. But thank you Jesus, I am alive! I thought I would never eat again; but my appetite came back like a tsunami. I do believe I am on my way to a full recovery.

The next two days (yesterday and today) was visible proof that I need to learn a lot of new things to be successful in this new job. One thing is MS Excel. I am praying for wisdom to the God who gives liberally and without reproach. I am praying for strength because I am already weary. I am praying for the LORD to show me new things that I do not yet know. I am praying to see the LORD magnified. Week one down.

“Your eyes shall see, And you shall say, ‘The LORD is magnified beyond the border of Israel.’” Malachi 1:5

Today I think...I know it's a dangerous task for me.

If you blog, do you ever think I should blog about that and that and…that! Then when faced with the white blank page you sit there wondering what you should blog? Or am I the only one? Today I have alot on my heart and mind and thought I would share those with you.

Today I am thinking.....about a co-worker who lost his house yesterday in the wildfires that spread throughout Oklahoma. As well as all the firefighters who risked their lives to save life and property. Also reflecting on the devastation in Japan, shocked and humbled knowing that is only a fraction of the Lord's power. Indeed. It boggles my mind.

Our new Fire Department in Moore! No. 1 to be exact. Today they rest.

Today I am thinking....about my week off for Spring Break. This time last year we were trekking the grounds of the nation’s capitol. I have been to Washington, DC at least 20 times over the past 15 years and to be able to show my family the Mall, the monuments, the museums that I have had the privilege of seeing, my favorite restaurants, and the excitement of riding the Metro was thrilling for me. I loved sharing a piece of my life with my family.

The Lincoln Memorial

Chop't Salad - My all time favorite fast food place! Darya agreed.

Jayden and I riding the Metro. Can you see the speed at which we were moving?

Today I am thinking.....how different our Spring Break will look this year. Different but not in a bad way – we will still be discovering NEW things. I am excited even though it involves Spring cleaning.

Today I am thinking.....WHAT was I thinking when I decided to sign up to “coach” YMCA Volleyball. My volleyball skills and experience come from family picnics, where you feel like a star even though you aren’t. Can you believe they gave me a bright orange shirt that says “COACH” on it? I wear it proud even though I’ve been replaced by a teenager coach. Gladly replaced I must proclaim! Our first game was a bad news bears kind of game and in a matter of minutes between our next game, my new teenage coach (Amanda's sister) taught the girls some simple techniques and much improvement was seen in game two, can't you tell by the smiles on those girls?

Today I am thinking.....July 24 could hurry up and get here because the new Target opens in Moore!

But today more than anything I am thinking......about the promises of God. Last July God begin preparing me to face trials. Preparing my heart. My mind. My faith. Over the past nine months He has been faithful to secure His love for me within my heart, mind and soul. He has increased my faith. He has been faithful in letting me know that perfect love cast out all fear and because I am perfectly loved I need not fear what is to come. Finding security and comfort in His sovereignty. Confident that He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that I could ask or think and because He is good and works all things together according to His will for my good and for His glory. Because He never fails I can rest in the midst of uncertain times. God is working in many ways in our family and I hope soon I will be able to share the unabridged version of His greatness. His power. His love. Stay tuned.

Exhausted...but still in pursuit!

The battle has been looming for four years: live with the pain or get a total knee replacement? The surgery had been set for final, this time. Decision made and a week and a half to prepare my mind for the rehabilitation battle ahead. The new knee replacements are possible for up to 30 years now, I am told. Although my doctor said mine was 15 to 20 and the nurse said it was actually 25 to 30, so I am hoping for a least 20 if not more, what would be better? The Lord’s return!

My parents and Jayden with me before surgery.

Upon arrival at the hospital, we were met by Michael, Jordan and Lily Lewis (our youth pastor and his sweet family). It was so nice for them to come up, show support and pray with me before going into surgery. They also left me some gospel tracts to pass out to the people I encountered. Little did I know that I wasn’t going to feel like passing anything out until practically the last day! But the last day it was!

The battle has been looming for four years: live with the pain or get a total knee replacement? The surgery had been set for final, this time. Decision made and a week and a half to prepare my mind for the rehabilitation battle ahead. The new knee replacements are possible for up to 30 years now, I am told. Although my doctor said mine was 15 to 20 and the nurse said it was actually 25 to 30, so I am hoping for a least 20 if not more, what would be better? The Lord’s return!

Upon arrival at the hospital, we were met by Michael, Jordan and Lily Lewis (our youth pastor and his sweet family). It was so nice for them to come up, show support and pray with me before going into surgery. They also left me some gospel tracts to pass out to the people I encountered. Little did I know that I wasn’t going to feel like passing anything out until practically the last day! But the last day it was!

Some of my AWANA Girls sending me some Cyber Love!

This surgery has been the toughest one yet. Nausea and severe headache on top of the pain, whew….that was fun! So let me sing you a little song. I can do that since this a “blog song”, those are the best kind, so that you aren’t suffering. In honor of one of my favorite times of the year, you should sing it to the tune of the First Day of Christmas in exchange with my first few hours at the hospital.

In the first hour of Obama Care, my government gave to me, one lost iPhone.

Yes, it is true. I lost my iPhone because I was updating my (oh so very important) Facebook status and the Anesthesiologist came in with a shiny little bottle that she put in my IV and the next thing I knew I was feeling quite funny and being wheeled away. Little did anyone know that I was still holding my phone in my hand that ended up next to my leg...which laid on the bed…then rolled up in the linen and off my iPhone went to the cleaners….I lost it.

In the second hour of Obama Care, my government gave to me, two blown veins and one lost iPhone.

Ouch! Yes, blown veins are not fun. I don’t recommend them that is if you have the option. Not sure how this happened because I have always been told I have great veins and I have given over 8 gallons of blood to our local blood bank over the past 25 years. I suffered and endured.

In the third hour of Obama Care, my government gave to me, three robes with holes, two blown veins and one lost iPhone.

Seriously, could we have a robe that closes completely? All the available robes had gaping holes the size of the Grand Canyon in the back side that is supposed to be held together by two strings. Let’s say it didn’t work well, but I wore it.

In the fourth hour of Obama Care, my government gave to me, four overworked nurses, three robes with holes, two blown veins and one lost iPhone.

Is there a nurse working here? Please answer my call button please, I need to go peeeeee! Typically I don’t need help but after a total knee replacement you kind of need a little help getting up and back down. Not sure but I think they are understaffed and overworked. One of the evening shift nurse’s didn’t know how to do the CPM machine and asked me because she was on loan from another department. So what is an educator to do? I educated her.

In the fifth hour of Obama Care, my government gave to me, five messed up meals, four overworked nurses, three robes with holes, two blown veins and one lost iPhone.

The only meal I received as ordered was breakfast, the rest were all missing items and/or cold. I guess that is why it was called “Gourmet Café” but I ate it.

In the sixth hour of Obama Care, my government gave to me, six paper towels, five messed up meals, four overworked nurses, three robes with holes, two blown veins and one lost iPhone.

One hospital alone can save tons of money by giving each patient room only six paper towels. On the last day we received more, I guess they were preparing for the next patient. Actually, the machine which was one year old had been fried, eaten up by battery corrosion. So it was out of service. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la…tis the season to be thankful for six paper towels. So I was.

Did I mention I was in a serious anesthesia fog? I was and the lights were ohhhhh, so bright! I thought I might have been going into heaven it was so bright! Which makes me wonder how much brighter the glorious light of God is? Unimaginable I am certain because it was almost impossible to open my eyes. Thus the “sexy BCG” government issued sun glasses issued at Tinker! If case you don’t know “sexy BCGs” are birth control glasses – they are so ugly it guarantees the guys will stay away. Ugly, but they worked marvelously for me after surgery because I couldn’t see a thing. I only could hear roaring laughter and from all people…my loving, sister Gaye and daughter Darya!

I was doing my best to have the correct response and not loose control with Darya and Gaye’s joyous response to my suffering, because what I really wanted to do was slap them silly into next week. Gee, I felt the empathy and sympathy! I wanted to yell, “Leave me alone! That’s just the way I am, the way God made me…to respond under anesthesia!”

<deep breath>

<reality check>

Okay. Maybe they were laughing WITH me, because they took this picture of me and let’s say when I saw it I roared with laughter too! I am just glad they didn’t video tape me!

It was so bright I thought I was in the presence of the Lord!

Each day got better and I even had the opportunity of finishing off the Shawn Michaels biography with Jayden and Darryl and yes, Shawn was lost, but now he is found. He became a believer in Jesus Christ. I even received a beautiful boutique from my BFF Pamela and her family, plus Darya won me a cute bumble bee and I got to attend a puppet show.

The Shawn Michaels Story is now complete, the book is back at the library in case your interested. ;O)

A little bit of happiness delivered to my room from my BFF Pamela and loving daughter Darya.

Jayden giving me a puppet show.

I made it home safely with all my drugs, CPM, walker and only one pair of TED stockings, I am a woman I need more than one pair and in colors would be nice. Gee, I feel old. I also have to give myself a blood thinning shot every morning in the stomach. Giving me shots is new so we shall see how it goes. At least I have extra cushion there.

Let the side show begin and tickets aren’t cheap. Once I was home and settled in Jayden had to bring one of his friends to parade by my bed side either to witness the CPM in motion or put to rest the truth that I have a bionic leg. Cody was the first, I am sure there will be many more over the next 21 days who will travel by to see the “side show”. As I watched Cody pacing back and forth in front of me I am pretty sure he was thinking how he could make that CPM into a ramp for a remote controlled vehicle. Then he had to belt out, “My grandma has one of those walkers, except she has tennis balls on hers.”

Overall while I didn’t enjoy the reason for being in the hospital, I am thankful for the procedure to take away the pain, even though in the beginning it sure doesn’t seem that way. I am thankful for the prayers of my family and friends. I am thankful for a job that allows me time off to do so. I am thankful for a loving <cough, cough> family that will take pictures of you in vulnerable moments. I am thankful for raised toilet seats, that is important you know. I am thankful (in no certain order, here) for Jesus who is seated at the right hand of the Father making intercession for me (Rom 8:34). Why? Because He loves me so! I know so, the Bible tells me in many, many places.

I am not sure why I have bad knees. Why other people can do all the things I have done and still have strong knees. We think that God’s way means the easy way, but it is not always the easy way but when we cling to our faith we begin to understand the plan. God is the giver of life, not the destroyer. I believe many of us often ask the “Why me?” question, but we should say why not me? After all no where in the Bible does it say we are promised protection against the storms of life. Instead Jesus told us in this world we will have trouble but to take heart (John 16:33). I Peter tells me not to be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening, but rejoice that I may be able to participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that I may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed (4:12-13).

Saying yes to rejoicing requires faith, a steadfast and strong faith that what He has promised He is also able to perform (Rom 4:21). Rejoicing is not rejoicing only when things go our way, I am told to rejoice always (1 Thess. 5:16) and to do all things without complaining (Phil 2:14). Rejoicing by definition is a verb. It is active. Doing everything readily and cheerfully is hard. Requires pushing through those times I don’t feel like rejoicing. But there are times when following Jesus, my Savior, is hard. Plain and simple. But I desire to be a breath of fresh air in this polluted society and provide those around me with a glimpse of my living God. When it is tough to rejoice I think of the promise that hangs on my wall in my living room of Isaiah 40:31,

“Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, and they will walk and not be faint.”

I am reminded that my strength, endurance, and life comes from the Lord.

My little physical therapy package that I use twice a day at home.

So I am pushing through this time and doing as my devotion told me the day of surgery and that is "Jesus said...Get up!" (John 5:8) and though I become exhausted I am still in pursuit waiting for His soon return.

P.S. - they did find my iPhone!