Forever changed on May 20, 2013

Just wanted to share with y’ all our personal story from May 20, 2013. It’s not a story of human loss or property, but of a mother trying to learn to trust God above all and in all circumstances, through PCS (Permanent Change of Station) orders and in fatal F5 tornadoes. From Newcastle, to South Oklahoma City, to Moore, we all have a story of Monday, May 20, 2013, this is ours.

In Oklahoma, we know about God, college football, severe weather and tornadoes. My husband and I are Okies, born and raised on red dirt, raised wearing crimson and cream and raised to know about severe spring time weather…including when to stand outside and watch or when to take shelter. Monday, May 20, 2013 was a day to take shelter. In fact, we knew days ahead of time that it could be a potentially deadly day thanks to the many superb meteorologist we have in our state.

If you are not from around here, a few words that should catch your ears are “supercell tornadic activity” or “large, long tracking tornadoes” the combination of those words should make you pay close attention and have a plan. Tornadoes are not like earthquakes, which hit with no warning. The beauty, if there is any beauty in a tornado, is that we are warned days in advance, with technology combined with experience, our meteorologists are almost always accurate when it comes to predicting large, long tracking tornadoes.  Then we have experienced storm chasers who give play by play, street by street, breakdown of the path which gives people time to take shelter if they are “weather aware” which includes having a plan and paying attention to the weather reports on the local news stations. Unfortunately, eleven days after May 20^th, some of the best storm chasers lost their lives in another F5 out in El Reno, Oklahoma; which says that even with the expertise and technology, tornadoes can do some strange things and should not be played around with.

Another phrase you should pay attention to is “you have to be below ground to survive this, act now”, that means get to a storm shelter, yours, ours or mine…it doesn’t matter. Amazingly, people survived above ground in the direct path, there were many injuries and the ones I know that survived above ground have horrific stories and are even experiencing nightmares and posttraumatic stress disorder and rightfully so.

Finally, outside of keeping together a “go bag” with you of your important papers and medicines, another important piece of information to know is what county you are in and/or live in because this is one way the local meteorologist call out warnings by. Another tip, is wear boots or tennis shoes; and if you can’t get below ground put on a football, bicycle, or motorcycle helmet on, goggles, and if you have a thick wool coat put that on too. You might look crazy but if you can’t get below ground these things may save your life.

Back to Monday, May 20^th , we knew a couple of days before there was a high probability that we were going to see long tracking tornadoes. We even knew about what time they would hit, close to the hour of day that schools would be letting out. I was at work huddled in the stairwell with my co-workers as the sirens were going off in our area, we were listening to the meteorologist describe the path this monster tornado was taking. He said, “This is heading into Moore, extremely dangerous if it doesn’t lift, it is red line, center line for Moore if it stays on track it is heading towards Westmoore and it is on the May 3, 1999 track.” Then we were dismissed out of the stairwells back to our offices only to be turned around to go back and take cover yet again. Then I heard, “It’s not letting up and folks need to be below ground to survive. If you can’t get below ground, get out of the path of the storm.”

Once again, we were dismissed back to our offices, where I heard the next update, “if it doesn’t change paths it is now heading towards Moore High School. Tracking on SW 134 continuing to track east mile wide wedge into housing additions – east side of MHS, S. 4^th Street, crossing Bryant and  just north of 12^th St.” It was time to get home those are all streets surrounding our neighborhood and at a mile wide, it would hit my daughter’s school and our home! Our home is in that mile section just left of Mike Morgan's hand, to the right of MHS, right above the word Moore; and where the M of Moore is, is Darya's school.

The week of May 20th has been the most physically and emotionally draining week of my entire life; watching lives and homes ripped apart…hurts. The fact that we did not lose any family or our home, I feel is a miracle, the tornado missed our home by less than ½ a mile; but it hit Darya’s school, Highland East Jr. High. For days, most people probably didn’t even know a third school, a junior high, in our school district was hit. That is okay with me, because that means…thankfully there were no deaths, only a few injuries.  I am amazed when I look at this map to see how wide the tornado was and how it shrunk down to almost nothing right before hitting Highland East Jr. High. I hope you can see it. The red square next to the red path is Highland East.

When Darryl learned that Darya was being detained at school and the buses were not leaving, he drove up there to pick her up. He arrived 35 minutes before it hit, but the Moore Public Schools (MPS) had already put the schools on lockdown and would not let him check her out. Darya told her teacher my dad is here to get me; she said you will be safer here. Darya told her no she wouldn’t because she has a storm cellar at home. Many people said, “I would have just went and got her and left, nobody can keep me from my kids.”  Needless to say, Darryl did not know exactly which classroom she was in or he would have went and claimed and taken his daughter. I understand not releasing students to walk home and/or out on the buses; but not releasing them to parents?

While at our friends school, Briarwood Elementary (same school district), one of the schools that was demolished, allowed my friend to take as many kids as she could. Obviously the school district needs to reconsider their policies. Another metro school district, the Mid-Del school district sent out a message to parents that because of the impending weather, they could pick up kids early beginning at 1 pm without any penalty; Mid-Del made a good call. Since we live in tornado alley, I am an advocate for school districts to have "tornado days" just like we have "snow days", make sense - since we have the technology and expertise to predict severe weather.

Once my co-workers and I were released back to our desks, a co-worker of mine who has children in the Moore school district was leaving to go home and I was not far behind her; not that we could stop an F-5 tornado, but we needed to be near. As you can see from the text messages below, I left at 3:08 p.m. with a promise of coming and I love yous. I drove south on I-35 in driving rain looking at the blackness in the sky as it roll over the area where my family and home are, listening to the meteorologist call out familiar landmarks and neighborhoods of family and friends.  The tornado was traveling on fourth street and they were reporting on the radio at that time that it was 2 miles wide! My heart sunk to the very pit of my being as I called out to God and begged him to take our home but not my family.

My heart was being squeezed inside my chest as I realized the life and property that was being destroyed of my family, friends, and my community. Then the meteorologist said what I did not want to hear, it just hit the Junior High. The Junior High is where my daughter and husband were. I did not know what I was going to find once I arrived in the blackness I seen off in the distance. I continued to drive through rain, fighting back tears and holding on to hope. My sons were at home in the storm cellar, I knew they would be safe so I traveled to the Junior High, but could not get through fourth street because of all the downed power lines and destruction. I decided to go through my neighborhood to get to the school the back way. I picked up my sons on the way thankful our house was standing; although, I didn’t care about that. I just need to know my husband and daughter were okay, as the last text I received from her was at 3:08 p.m. saying “We are taking shelter, I love you too!” Every attempt of a text/call after that was incomplete and it was now after 4:19 p.m..

Somehow I made it to the school through the tears and shaking, jumped over the electrical poles/wires to cross the street and get to the school. As you can imagine, parents and kids were everywhere, then in the distance I saw my daughter and husband standing. As you can imagine my heart jumped out of my chest as we ran to embrace each other. It was approximately an hour and 10 minutes since her last text until I found them, not knowing was the worst experience, I never want to relive. I ache for the parents that didn’t find their children living, how horribly heart wrenching.

Once we were reunited I learned, since the school officials would not allow Darryl to have Darya he was going to stay with her, he told me, “I wasn’t going to let her die alone.” That was so hard to hear. Darya said, “Dad came in my room and got on his knees and started praying.” The rest of the class was watching the coverage on a TV, then they lost the feed and the Principal came over the intercom and said "I need you to take cover immediately. We are out of time." Darryl said as the rumble drew louder, the building begins to shake and he was waiting for the roof to lift off. Darya said it was very loud and scary, her ears were popping and she came home with a horrible headache, but she came home. Darryl said she never cried until she walked outside and saw all the devastation.

Our pastor’s daughter, Katelyn, was substitute teaching that day and her class was in the gym, the part of the school that took a direct hit and they had to dig and climb out of the destroyed building. I struggle with why they didn’t bring them in to the main building instead of leaving them out in the gym, but they all survived only a few injuries, which is simply amazing. She, too, has her own story. She quickly changed shoes and ran to her home to check on family. Their home was still standing, but a block over was nothing but homes of rubble.

The main portion of the school was still standing and that is where most of the students, teachers and parents took cover. The back side of the school and the gym were demolished. Our SUV that was at the school was totaled, but no significant losses in our family. It missed all 26 of my family dispersed throughout SW OKC and Moore, we feel so blessed.

But then we begin to hear, one by one, over the next seven days, the sixteen different families we knew who lost homes and family. Darya has many friends who lost their homes; and two of her friends had family members who died (a mother, and a child) – I can’t even imagine! Heartbreaking.

We had one of our friends (a family of five) staying with us because they totally lost their home. They were still displaced a month later, but they are alive. An F5 tornado sure can put what is important in life in perspective and it’s not things.

Rebekah showing me the storm cellar that held her friend, her and 12 kids.

What they saw across the street from their house. Where a neighborhood of homes once stood, all was rubble.

Another one of my friends survived above ground, right in the path of the F5, his home is behind Darya’s school. He posted a picture of where he and his wife took cover and the only thing left standing of his home was the hallway where they were with a mattress over them, at the end of the hall was a cross.

Matt and his beautiful wife who survived the F5 above ground. What a story they have!

The family that stayed with us was fortunate enough to shelter in a neighbor’s storm cellar right before it barreled through their neighborhood. Everyone has a story and this is ours. It still feels like we live in a war zone as there are miles upon miles of destruction that we see daily. It feels like we’ve been given a sand bucket and told to empty the ocean. The time it takes to get around town is getting easier, most of the “tourists” have left, and our hearts still ache for the families who lost loved ones and for our community. We still need prayer. We still need help. While most Oklahomans do not have to travel SW 148th or SE 4th Street in Moore, we travel them daily. The endless destruction is a constant reminder of all that people have lost. It’s painful. It’s daily. I heard a reporter on the national news a couple of weeks after the F5 question an Oklahoman why they would rebuild here, he said, “There have been four major tornadoes in Moore in the past 15 years, why would you want to rebuild here?” Their reply was, “It’s home.” Then she went on to describe the heart of the people who unite together to give, to share, to help. Well, it’s not just Moore, it is just as I have heard “the Oklahoma standard”. We have big hearts.

This before and after picture is what was left of our first home after May 20, 2013, 309 SW 148th Street. This was the first home Darryl and I shared. We don’t live there anymore, but it is where we spent the first seven years of our marriage together, although seven years isn't really that long, we created many memories and celebrated many life events there. While in that home we celebrated the birth of Darya and Jayden, we witnessed 9-11 unfold before our eyes, celebrated many birthdays and anniversaries, it was also Senor Harjo's first home, many Barney songs were sung, many games of basketball played and our first tree planted. I wonder how our story would have played out differently if we did still live there.

This is where my parents lived; again I wonder, if we would have remained on SW 148^th Street, would they have remained by us too?

My parents former home

Backside of my parent's former home.

Looking from the backyard of my parents former home down to where our home use to be.

So sad to see it…all gone. Every time I was over in that area, I'd drive by just to check it out, to reflect and remember. Now it is no more. Please remember Moore in your thoughts and prayers, especially those that lost loved ones and all the others who lost property, we’ve got a long road ahead of us, but we will be OK.

As Blake Shelton said on Healing in the Heartland, ”This one knocked us down to our knees and this is a tough one, but we will be back up running again.

As I said in the beginning, I am trying to learn to trust God above all and in all circumstances. I want to figure out how to do that without fail. Without wavering. Without fear. As Paul said in

in Philippians, "I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him" (Phil 3:8). He has been well fed and he has been starving. He has lived in abundance and he has lived with nothing. His conclusion? That it is all rubbish; the only thing that matters is Christ, that he be found in Him, that he would know the power of His resurrection and the fellowships of His sufferings. (Phil 3:9-11). Everything else is rubbish.

Thanks for listening, forever changed,