On September 29, 2014, I stumbled upon a 31 Day Blog Challenge for the month of October. Why, oh why, did I feel the need to go public with a topic that I nearly gave a day’s thought too? I know! I know! So I could live up to my blog title…WIMP!
So seriously, I began on October 1 with a renewed confident spirit that I would prevail, and here I sit having quit posting on day 13, I totally wimped out and quit posting. I don’t have any legit excuses like having a baby, moving, death of family member (thank God), but I did have a grandson that has stolen another piece of my heart. I did spend Fall Break hauling three teenage girls around Branson; oh, and I do have a full-time job and a family I like to see.
I am still writing, in my beautiful little Red 365 book, just not posting. Posting is difficult for me (and my husband), because I feel like I have to have every word just write. Oh no, I didn’t just use that word “write” wrong. Oh yes, I did, to prove my point. I am getting old and things like that happen when my fingers fly across the keyboard! Right? I still write because my dad was right, I am a bit chatty. I love words and I need to express, thus my little Red 365 book, that is only a few pages short of being full and it is only October. <yikes> The beauty of this book is it doesn’t judge and probably nobody will ever read it; oh wait, that is kind of like my blog too. <snicker>
One word that the Lord has been whispering more to me lately is “more”. I like that word. Each time the Lord puts a word (steadfast, stretch, relationships) on my heart, I immediately claim to know why and each time I am dead wrong. It is quit humbling as you might imagine, but He always does it with soft grace.
My flesh, would say, I want more money, time to shop, time to play, more yummy food. Food is good. Actually what I need is more metabolism, so I can eat more food. However what my dried up spirit needs is more spiritual food.
As I talked to a good friend and sister-in-Christ this week, we both confessed our continued failures; the pressures of maintaining home, investing in our children’s lives, being available to our husbands, preparing healthy meals, while working full-time. It’s tough, and please know I am not complaining. I am thankful, oh so thankful, for a job that provides well for us. I am thankful for a job that provides healthcare. I am thankful for a job that will provide well for us past retirement. I am thankful. I am indeed, but I want more of Him, more of His word, more time to study, more time to pray, more time to build that relationship with Him past my quick prayers throughout the day, past my two-minute devotion book, past my Matt Chandler morning sermons.
Yes, I sin grievously so, and I fail often, and while my failures drive me to try harder or do more, I rest and give thanks that His grace is abundant…that He does not condemn me…that He is still doing a work in me…that when I am weak, He is strong…that He will never leave or forsake me. I just need to remember He has given me all things to life and godliness and go after that more!