Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Whatever Wednesday Writings - New Talent



2. If you could have a NEW talent what would you want? The journal prompt of 2 March 2014. That’s easy! The ability to carry a tune.

Laugh if you like, but I have always wanted to sing or play an instrument. Maybe I should add “sing or play well”; oh I can sing, it is just that it is not pleasing to anyone but the Lord.

I am going to post a previous post accurately titled "Dragon is Singing Tonight" which accurately describe my lack of ability to sing.

But I have two cousins that can sing and play instruments very well and all I have to say about that is it did not come from our side of the family and if the talent did come from our side then they stole all our talent because we have none. I wished I was tech-savy enough to get a video off my Facebook wall of one of my cousins Tony Spencer Rivas singing my favorite country and western artist Johnny Cash's Folsom Prison. I just love it!

An update to the "Dragon is Singing Tonight" is that it is true, I can't carry a tune, but both Darya and Jayden can actually sing pretty good and I don't want to sabotage their thoughts about their abilities.

If you could have a NEW talent what would you want? I'd love to hear!

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Word of the Year - Part Two



This post is part two; if you want to read part one, go here.

My Word of the Year that I receive hasn’t fallen on the typical beginning of the year calendar date, as most peoples do. As I mentioned before my first word I received in March 2012. This is probably because God does not work on our timetable or the calendar’s time table, a truth I am still trying to learn. My second word of the year came last year (February 2013) and while “I think I know” why it was given to me; my experience is that He probably has something totally new or different for me that I do not yet know

Stretch is my new word; but I’ve come to love the word “Steadfast” because all that is attached to that word that the Lord brought me through and mostly because it represents His love for me! Little ole Indian girl from Del City who flipped everywhere she went, so I am not getting rid of it; for it is forever implanted in my heart and life. Stretch. That is an odd word; my first thoughts were okay Lord as long as it doesn’t represent more stretch marks! No. Really. Honest, first thought! Vain, I know, but trust me I have my share and I wouldn’t change them for anything because they represent life, the life of my children and…news bulletin…I am old and don’t need any more children; at least of my own. Second thought was Stretch Armstrong. I know…so, so spiritual!



After much angst, fear and prayer, I was not PCS (permanent change of station) to Rockville, Maryland last year; but in April, actually April 1st, no foolin’, without warning I received a direct reassignment to a new position. Hallelujahs were said because I wasn’t moving up East, but my old familiar friend “fear” crept back in as I learned that I would be working in an intimidating position…one with numbers. Okay I lied. Numbers and I are not friends. I prefer words and the two shall never meet. When I am asked to find “X”, I excitedly point at the letter “X” and proudly exclaim “Found it!” as it was a game of hide and seek, none of my teachers thought I was funny. In fact, this past year Darya came home with a word math problem about how long it would take to get to a certain point, driving 65 mph as opposed to 40 mph, I helped her solve it using words, “drive speed limit and you’ll arrive when you get there”, problem solved! I don’t think her teacher thought it was funny. The reason they call it math is because MATH is really an acronym for “Mental Abuse To Humans”. So what did I do? I would love to say that I took the bull by the horns and tackled my new job with precision, accuracy and a good attitude; but I didn’t.

In honor of the funny running picture...my version.
I went back to my Master’s program where I had to take and pass a Statistics class to graduate and relived the torment of banging my head against the table crying to my three tutors (serious) about being right brained and if I could just be creative and love everyone into having a passion for health, I did not need statistics! Needless to say, my three tutors helped me pass the class with an A (miracle) and I swore never to mess with numbers again.

As I sat in my office mulling over what I had just been told, I didn’t know what was going to happen, I wondered if I would even make it to that magical 20 year retirement mark, then I decided I wouldn’t even think about it, but then I could hear a mocking voice of myself saying trying to encourage my friends who were going through tough times “Just trust God, He has this all under control. He is sovereign.” I knew this truth on some level, but for some reason (spiritual amnesia) I didn’t think it was true in my life. I had to keep saying over and over, “I choose to trust You.” That was my only option, so from that day forward like Daniel “I purposed in my heart” to get up each morning and to say out loud, “I choose to trust You.” I tried my best not to visit my inadequacies and fears about this uncertain phase of my career and life, but to focus on Who is completely adequate, able, and in control, God.

Stretch came to me from a friend when I was complaining about having to work with numbers. She was nice and didn’t say “Quit whining crybaby”, but she reminded me that His grace is sufficient for me and that His strength is made perfect in my weakness…thus, stretch. I didn’t want to stretch! I was comfortable doing the type of work I was doing I just did not like other aspects of working for the national program I worked for. I like being comfortable, who doesn’t? I even told the Admiral and my new boss, you’ve got the wrong chick for this job! You see my training and education is community based; numbers and being analytical don’t mix nicely with my creative self. I was reminded of Moses telling God you got the wrong dude! But despite Moses’s inadequacies and fears God used Him anyway. I was entering a phase in my career that would stretch me more than any statistics class in college would, I was leaving my comfort of 18 plus years and all I knew; and was landing in the Land of Lack. Lack of ability, lack of confidence, lack of skill, lack…lack…lack…, but all this lack provided something I needed much more and that was to put my reliance back to God and not self. Sure I was functioning well in the career the Lord gave me, but I was leaving God out. Not good! After all, it is He who gives all, He is the one who maintains life, He is the One and Only! And I was forgetting to invite Him in to my day. I am so glad He didn’t make a big fish swallow me up and spit me out to get the message.

The good news was I didn’t choose this new job for me, He did, so He was going to have to wake up that side of my brain that has been in sleep mode for ummm…45 years and help me do the work. He did and is. It isn’t Dione; it is the Lord, for whom all things, ALL things are possible. Although, I had to switch jobs towards the end of my career, move from an office to a cubicle and watch my grade level get lowered, (my pay didn’t change), I received my two years civil service credit and now have 21 years, 3 months, and 5 days (3-5-14) and most importantly I am learning to become more dependent on God, and not myself, oh and I got my office back and working on get that billet back up where it needs to be. Yes, me, of little faith. It is like my Big God, who graciously takes me through a difficult passage to show me He is brilliant, glorious, all powerful, able, in control, that He loves me with a steadfast love and while things will change around me, He remains the same…yesterday, today, and forever…I just have to stretch and remember when I am weak, He is strong.

As for my 2014 Word of the Year…that will have to be another post, but He is still working!

The LORD gives strength to his people;
the LORD blesses his people with peace.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs,
in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corin. 12:9-10