D Day Month 2014
But if you do not do so, then take
note, you have sinned against the LORD; and be sure your sin will find you out. Numbers 32:23
Today as a mother of a teenage girl who is obsessed with
driving I am thankful for space and grace! Most bloggers, and I am guilty too, choose
to only share the icing of their lives to protect a persona of who they want
others to believe them to be. The highlight reel of their lives so to say, but the
truth is those highlights only promotes us (yuck!) and doesn’t give a complete
picture of life. It can also make others feel inadequate and the truth is all
of us and our families have hard times, difficult issues, life lessons and/or humble
pie, but we hide them, we don’t put them on Facebook or blog about our kids
getting into fights at school or about losing jobs. More importantly omitting
these bumps and valleys of our lives doesn’t give God glory for the good He does
through these refining times.
I love what Oswald Chambers says about these valleys in My
Utmost for His Highest, “We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of
life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength.”
And I love how my commuter buddy Matt Chandler says it,
“When you get that God did it all, he justified you, when you get that - it
becomes almost impossible to judge anyone. By judging them you negate the very
grace that was given to you, if it wasn’t for that grace that is you.”
So judge not, I know as we follow all the rules and do
everything right we become unsympathetic to those that are failing and the
truth is none of it is our ability to do good, we have been saved by grace
through faith it was none of our doing – so no boasting in us, only God.
With all these thoughts, I wrestled with sharing this, but
with my daughter’s permission and for God’s glory I share D-Month Harjo Home 2014.
Ask any of our children and they know our parenting mantra
and prayer is Numbers 32:23 “Your sin will find you out”. Ask our adult
children and they will testify to this mantra. We pray this now because we want
to know now, so those sins can be lovingly corrected now under parenting – not
later as adults.
My flesh and blood, my first born with driving permit only;
which if you don’t know what that means in the 21st century and the
graduated licensing system, it means she is only permitted to drive while
another licensed driver over the age of 21 is in the front seat of the vehicle
with her.
Well one evening while I was at women’s retreat an hour away
and my dear husband and son were at baseball games…she decides to take herself
and a friend for a spin in my car. Oh. Yes. She. Did.
Again, I am thankful for
grace and space otherwise, I may be blogging from prison, which I am not sure
how that would work.
At the retreat phone services are spotty because of its “retreat”
location, well after the Friday night session; I ended up on the cabin porch
sharing life with a sister-in-Christ. She was sharing about her children,
family and some of the pitfalls they encountered during their children’s
teenage years. Only God knew what was going to happen that night and He placed me
at that retreat an hour away and Pat in my life at that moment to spare my
child and to spare me from prison.
After our real life talk, I notice I had received a few
texts from my husband. The first one said, “Our daughter took your car out
while I was gone.” The next text said, “And………”
I am screaming (in my head) at my phone “AND?.....AND….WHAT?”
As a mother my thoughts went to the extreme..…and..…she wrecked the car…..and…...she
is dead…...and…..she killed someone….and she got picked up by the cops….and she
ran over a neighbor’s pet……and….and….and…..I know overkill, but that is this
momma’s mind.
On top of a hill, holding one leg up I found a place with
reception and called Darryl (I thought), but Darya answered; that is what we
get for naming her so close to her dad’s name. So I had to go with it, I asked,
“So tell me what happened tonight.” She said, “I kind of drove your car.”
I said, “Explain to me “kind of” driving my car? You backed
it half way out and then back in?”
She replied, “No, I took it out and drove it in the
neighborhood.” I asked, “Why did you do that?”
She replied with the most common
teenage response, “I don’t know.”
I won’t bore you with the entire conversation; but two weeks
of grounding from driving and her phone ensued, plus countless conversations
about why and how it was wrong, despite being a good driver (her reasoning)…and
she is a good driver, but it was still wrong on so many levels.
I even shared with her, what I thought was a jewel of wisdom
when she is conflicted about what the right thing to do is and that is “When in
doubt, don’t.” Just don’t, I thought it is short and simple and will pop into
her head when she is conflicted to make a choice.
Fast forward two weeks, phone back in hand, permit in back
pocket, little bro and mom are at the movies and dad is working and mom’s car
is sitting in the garage with a full tank of gas calling her name.
Now one would think I drove some exotic sports car, but no,
I drive an injury causing VW bug. Again, she decides two weeks of grounding
wasn’t long enough. Oh. Yes. She. Did. It. Again.
However, this time it was not the CSI Parenting that led to
the discovery, but dad arriving home to all vehicles gone.
So again, why? Again. “I don’t know.” To which I said, “So
my four little words did not help at all?” Obviously not, because her reply
was, “What words? “ I chanted them again in my duh tone, “When in doubt…don’t?”
The memory resurfaced, “Oh yeah, I thought about that but I think I am obsessed
with driving.” Really? Obsessed? That
was a good one and I don’t think you can take a pill for that.
So I asked how did it make you feel when you drove up and
saw Dad was home? She said “I felt disgusted and mad at myself. I don’t know
why I did it, I knew it was wrong. I know this sounds crazy, but I wanted you
to take my phone away because I think I am a better person without it.” Really?
A better person? Dad and I agree and did you know you could have just said you
need help monitoring your time on your phone? Of course, she didn’t think of
that.
Next, I asked, “Did you forget whose dad and my daddy is?
Let me remind you G. O. D. and He is EVER present and all-knowing and I will NOT
let your disobedience win, I love you too much.”
Thus D-Day Month operation begins. I love my kids too
much to let the enemy have them. I like what a godly woman and friend told me
once, “I will go through hell with a water pistol if I have to!” Friends, we
have an enemy and he wants our children; but I won’t let him have mine! I am
relying on the true, faithful Word of God, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and
you will be saved, you and your household." Acts 16:31
Finally, out comes our parenting mantra again, “You know
we’ve told you ‘your sin will find you out’”. To which, she said, “I know, but
I thought it was just a saying, now I know it is true.” To which I declared, “Honey,
it is not just a saying it is God’s word and His word is always true and does
not come back void.”
Through it all I have been thanking God for these difficult
times of our daughter’s disobedience. I actually rejoice in them. One, nobody
was hurt. Two, my teenage daughter learned a valuable lesson about God’s Word
and His character and this will hopefully keep her from further harm. Three, I
am thankful that both times there was space between her and I so God could get
me in the place of grace.
I told my husband, “What I wanted to do was cut up her
permit and throw her phone in the trash” to which he said, he had the same
thoughts! Gotta love one flesh. J
But God extends His grace to me time and time again, every time I fail,
actually every day.
While Oswald Chambers says we have to prove our stamina and
strength during the valleys and ordinary life, I would say it isn’t my stamina
and strength but God’s strength made perfect in my weaknesses.
“For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having
spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.”
2 Corin. 4:15
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