I discovered two things about pounding my Pampered Chef Food Chopper 1) I can see why it has a lifetime guarantee, it can sure take a beatin’; and 2) it is actually pretty good therapy after a long day at work then coming home to a hormonal preteen. After coming home from work I begin to think about playing chef and preparing a new meal, “Turkey Sausage Gumbo” that excitement quickly faded as I realized it was “Junior High Orientation” night.
At the end of 6th grade we enrolled Darya for Junior High and the school nurses wanted to give her shots, but she was up to date with all her shots. I just need to get her shot record from Tinker Air Force Base. So the school nurse casually said, “no problem, just bring a copy of her shot records up before schools starts”.
So off we trekked with hundreds of other work wearied parents and hormonal preteens to discover what supplies were needed, what schedules were, to meet teachers and to see if they could open a combination lock. I could write an entire blog on the combination lock experience! After standing in a long line to get the schedule, I was told that because I still needed to turn in her shot record we would have to go to the office first. I am just wondering why didn’t they have a sign or at least someone informing us of this little fact before standing in a long line? So off to another line which wouldn’t have been so bad if there had been a ride at the end or better yet a buffet! Did I tell you I have started back to WeightWatchers? Well I have and I am only on day three and the first week is usually marked by hunger pains that could convert a person suffering from anorexia. So hunger pains plus inadequate preparation and planning on the school’s part didn’t help the fact that I was about to have a showdown with my preteen daughter over her writing off band with a negative attitude. We all know outlook determines outcome. So with my new found motivational interviewing skills I had just learned and practiced at work that day, I begin to dig in to her and give her reasons why she needs to give band a chance! So much for asking open-ended questions, affirming her, reflective listening and letting her come up with her own reasons to give band a chance! I was determined to convince her that band is what she needs since she physically can’t play sports without getting very sick. Side request; please remember us and the doctors in prayer as we go, yet, to another doctor to seek a solution or even a reason.
So it probably wasn’t hormones, but that sounded like a good thing to blame at the moment. The truth of the matter is that she is hard-headed just like me. If she wants to do something, she will set her mind on it and accomplish it and if she doesn’t want to do it, then you might as well write it off because it will not happen. That personality trait that can be either good or bad.
After orientation and the Big Band Showdown, I came home and chopped onions, bell peppers, okra and turkey sausage like I was Hong Kong Phooey, quicker than the human eye. Okay, well maybe I wasn’t that quick, leading to the reason I turned on the TV in the kitchen. There on Fox was a show called “Master Chef”, which is a show I have never watched but I was so lost in my thoughts about my lack of parenting and motivational interviewing skills that I found odd comfort from the Master Chef on the show saying, “there you go…excellent…you are doing a great job “. Yes, I got reeled in! Darn reality shows.
I realized just like the Master Chef participants, I too, was facing my own pressure test, but instead of putting nutmeg in the flour, it was fighting with my daughter over extra-curricular activities. Band or Block that was the question, her way or my way, die on the hill and crush a spirit..…4.…3….2….1….and stop! I could hear the Master Chef saying, “There is no WOW factor, it is destroyed, I think you may have blown it!” True. I did blow it all my motivational and coaching skills for change out the window, or should I say down the disposal? If I was out to convince her to give band a chance, I failed miserably. I did exactly what I was not supposed to do and that was increasing her reluctance and resistance. Can I get a WOW factor rating on that?
Can I just sit in the gallery? Without being evaluated? Without being judged and scrutinized for my decisions? Quite frankly, I know, very well how some of my FB friends feel about public school and raising teenage girls and that I don’t measure up. I never will claim to be a perfect , but I am a parent that loves and isn’t afraid to correct mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Plus I know the Master Parent! Although I make mistakes, He is gracious and faithful to work all things to my good, I do love Him so!
If I can’t sit in the gallery, will you at least stand around watching intently, holding your breath, with intense faces of hope as I face the unknown of parenting a strong-willed teenage girl?
After I had Hong Kong chopped dinner and faced a truthful realization, I went back in the “pressure zone” apologized, asked for forgiveness and used those motivational and coaching skills to come to an agreement of giving it an honest try for at least week.
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| See how far she has grown? It has gone so fast. |
Yes, I will make more mistakes, but I have been given the privilege to mother. I am proud of all my children, regardless of the mistakes we’ve made and they’ve made, but more than anything I am overwhelmed by the Lord’s goodness to us through the mistakes. His grace covers all our mistakes and that certainly humbles me. It is my prayer and hope that as I pass through these tough pressure tests of life that my Master Parent will grace me with, “well done, good and faithful servant”. The Lord has been good to us, bless His Holy Name. I want to grab the Judge’s attention for all the right reasons. Instead of “Yes, Chef”.…it is Yes, Lord, Yes Lord, YES!!
I am thankful that when I turned on the TV it was “Hell’s Kitchen or Kitchen Nightmares” (which I have never watched), but let’s just say the outcome could have been different!
