Darya came home last week and announced to Darryl and I that she wanted us to adopt a girl at school. After Darryl and I picked up our jaws, I asked who and why. She informed us that her name was Jennifer and that she was a foster child and that many of the kids at school were mean to her and she felt bad for her. She told me once one girl was making fun of Jennifer and Darya stepped in to protect her and pull her away from that taunting girl.
On occasion we get to eat lunch with Darya at school. She is allowed to invite one friend up on stage to eat with us (school policy). This week we took pizza to school for lunch, partly because I was so wearied of her insistence of coming. I managed the three steps onto the stage without falling and giving the entire school a show. Hannah, her BFF, usually eats with us, but this day Darya invited Jennifer to eat with us she wanted us to meet her.
Jennifer was very shy and quiet at first not wanting to make eye contact, but we were able to put her at ease pretty quick. She told us that she was placed in foster care at age 2, her parents’ rights were abolished at age 4 and she has been in 19 different foster care homes. She shared that she had a little brother and just recently they had been split up in to different homes. She went on to explain that her current foster parents were very mean to her. She said they yelled a lot. I guess the shocker was that she said they went to church. The whole thing saddened us very much. I think we both just wanted to rescue her and could see why Darya was concerned for her. But we both knew becoming foster parents or adoption isn’t a fast and easy process, not to mention we hadn’t even prayed about it!
That day Darya came home and said that one of the kids asked her why she invited “her (Jennifer)” to eat lunch with her. Darya told her, “because she is my friend”. I was so proud of Darya and how she reached out to Jennifer, how she stood up for her and how she responded positively to the inquiries of including someone that “in their eyes” didn’t seem worthy. She truly exhibited the meaning of her name through her actions and she displayed the character of Christ. Darya’s name is of Hebrew origin and means compassionate. Over the short 12 years that God has allowed us to be her parents, we have seen her fulfill her name, mostly to the little furry creatures, but this time to another human being.
Then on Thursday Darya came home said that, her foster parent came and checked her out of school about 1:30 p.m. and told her she was being send to another foster home. Right in the middle of the school day, imagine her shock and probably embarrassment. Darya said that some of the classmates hugged her and a few cried that she was leaving. I’m sure that made Jennifer feel good, at least to know that some of them did care.
Darryl looked on our state Adoption and Foster Care webpage and discovered what it takes to become foster parents or to adopt. No we aren’t doing it (yet), not sure if we will, but it sure opened our eyes. I think about the movies I have seen where foster children dream of being apart of family, but are often disappointed as they spend year after year in foster care wishing and hoping to be selected, only to be pushed out to the cruel world at age 18. I can only imagine the pain, the doubts, the fears and feelings that these children must experience when the two people in your world who are supposed to care and love for you are not there. I understand being a foster parent or adopting is not easy. I understand it is a call from God. I also understand God’s Word says in James 1:27 that “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress." Because this is what God has done for me. In that while I was still a sinner, an enemy, living in rebellion Christ died for me. (Romans 5:6)
While we ate lunch with Jennifer, I shared with her that I was adopted. Her eyes light up and she asked, “Really?” I told her indeed I had been adopted into the Family of God.
I have been adopted not because of anything I have done, or who I am, not for any reason except God’s grace, mercy and love. In Ephesians 1:5-6 “In love He predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of His glorious grace.” First adoption is “from Him”—from God. And if we ask when this predestination happened, we can back up one verse to 4 and the when is made plain: “He chose us in Him [Christ] before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him.” I am so thankfully that adoption was part of a God’s plan from the very beginning and that He chose me and that I am secure. My adoption is not based on my worth, my distinctiveness; rather it is rooted in God’s eternal plan, by His love.
Our aim is not to take a child’s low views of self and replace them with high views of self. Rather our aim is to take a child’s low views of God and replace them with high views of God. Our aim is not take a child with little sense of worth and fill him with a great sense of worth. Rather our aim is to take a child who by nature makes himself the center of the universe and show him that he was made to put God at the center of the universe and get joy not from seeing his own tiny worth, but from knowing Christ who is of infinite worth. We adopt to lead a child to the everlasting joy of making much of the glory of the grace of God.
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