"What is One Thing You Feel You Can't Say in the Church?"

I just finished Permission to Speak Freely, Essays and Art on Fear, Confession, and Grace by Anne Jackson. This book was recommended by a young lady almost two years ago and I just finished reading it. To my credit, I just purchased it about a month ago; plus being sick this past week allowed me time to read it and I am glad I did.

The young lady who recommended this book and I use to attend the same church. She posted on Facebook that it was a good book and every person especially those who attend church should read the book. I was intrigued because I struggle with fear and confession and here the title said I have permission to speak freely, but will I? Only God knows.

Some might not be able to read this style of writing but honestly I found it an easy read. Anne herself confessed that she had to arm-wrestle her editor to break the rules of a typical book structure with her self described "messy combination of art and story and Scripture", yes she used the word and two times instead of comas, I like her.

Anne is a Bible Belt Baptist PK (Pastor's Kid) and she openly shares and talks about the frustration with the church wanting to keep the appearance of everything being fine, when everything isn't fine, we are messed up people, broken. She ventured out on her blog and asked a simple question "What is one thing you feel you can't say in the church?" and hundreds of people responded. The book has some of those confessions and to me they were not shocking because we all are broken, messed up people.

Within the book she talks about the Gift of Going Second, where one person's confession can lead and open the door for others to confess because they learn they are not the only one. They are not alone. The enemy loves to keep us singled out and feeling alone. He hates when we open up and confess, he would prefer to keep us locked up in our world of secrecy where he can shame us out, beat us up and keep us living in fear of what people will think, say and how they will treat us if they knew our struggles, our past, of who we are and what we've done. On the other hand confession removes the chains of fear and allows us to live in victory. When we live in shame, we hide and act like everything is fine - we focus on our inadequacy, when we confess and bring to light and expose our sins/inadequacies those sins lose their power and we highlight the adequacy of the Holy Spirit to live a life of righteousness. As Christians we have to stop hiding our sins and pretending life is perfect and we have to stop labeling and categorizing sins as bad, worse, and the worst - sin is sin. Truth (Jesus Christ) came to set us free.

I was humbled by this book. I was challenged, but mostly, I was moved to worship as I pondered the amazing grace of the cross of Christ. It is my prayer for myself that this year I will be fully obedient to Christ. That I will choose to trust Him daily in all He brings in my life. That I will remember who I am and Whose I am. That when trials and temptations come I won't become overwhelmed, losing site, but I will fix my eyes and focus on Christ and become overwhelmed with Him. That my first response to life will be not run to my husband, family or a friend, but to pray. Finally, that I will be prepared in season and out of season to give an answer for the Hope that lives within me.

Bring on 2014, may the LORD be magnified beyond the border of Israel.

"But now entreat God's favor, that He may be gracious to us." - Malachi 1:9